How do I choose the right therapist?

Seeking a therapist, especially if it is your first time, can feel daunting and overwhelming. So many therapists. All sorts of approaches with strange alphabets. CBT, DBT, CFT and what not, what do they even mean?! What is the difference between a counsellor, psychologist and psychotherapist? Who should I be looking for? How do I know if someone is legit? And the list goes on…

I’ve been there – in the minefield of therapists not knowing where to go. I’ve had the odd experience with therapists who didn’t feel like the right fit. One was busy scribbling notes down all session. ‘They are very experienced so I should go with them’ I once told myself. A few sessions down the line, I just didn’t feel any genuineness and warmth. Or a therapist who I felt was judging me.

Often when clients approach me I suggest they also speak to other therapists – shop around a bit and maybe have sessions with a few before they decide. I believe having a therapist who you are comfortable with is really important. So don’t give up or be disheartened if you’ve had a few bad experiences. Similar to finding the right doctor for you or anything in life really – keep looking.

The aim is to find someone who is qualified and experienced in the areas you are looking for and someone you feel comfortable with. I’ve compiled a short list below to get you started:

• Check their qualifications: depending on where you are in the world, there are certain counselling bodies that therapists should be a part of eg. in the UK we have the BPS, BACP, HCPC etc. Some counselling directories such as Psychology Today, Counselling Directory and Therapy Tribe do these checks for you so you can trust that therapists on there are legit.

• Match for experience: Look at their website or profile and see whether they offer therapy in the areas you are looking for. For instance, if you have relationship difficulties and are looking for a couples’ therapist, common sense says that the therapist’s profile should say they offer this and are qualified to do so. If you are looking for someone who can help with eating disorders, depression or suicidal thoughts a search on these directories can help you narrow down.

• Other preferences: Do you have a preference for online or face to face therapy? Would you rather speak to someone who is of a similar background, age, race, sexuality or gender?

• Get those free consultations! Many therapists offer short consultations free of charge. As they say, if you don’t ask, you don’t get. Actually speaking to a therapist can help decipher how they sound and the feel you get from them.

• Trust your gut: How did you feel (classic therapist question?!) when you spoke to them? Did you feel safe, did the therapist take you seriously, listened to you and was transparent with what they could offer?

Even if you’ve had a few sessions with a therapist and you feel it isn’t going anywhere, talk to your therapist, tell them. If nothing changes, you can still switch. Don’t lose hope, the right therapist for you is out there.

If you have any specific questions about therapy with me, feel free to ask!

Email: innerbeamcounselling@gmail.com

Contact number: 07721649458